Leo (July 23-August 22): Pirates are in the news again, Leo. ! I know that your favorite letter is “R” and your love for the skull and cross bones is deep, so I am not surprised to hear that the new pirates tickle your fancy. I suggest heading downtown to the courthouse and trying to catch a glimpse of the Somali pirate as he goes in and out of his trial. Have a martini at Bayard’s Blue Bar (One Hanover Square) while talking about lasses and ye scurvy scum.
psychic reading for the number 6: You have a cat named Fluffy. Your mother’s name is Martha. Your favorite color is yellow. You drive a 1989 Honda Civic, a four door. That’s the extent of this psychic reading — me telling you things you already know.
It was with this information alone that I proceeded to interpret for him, because the Galaxy tarot cards, like the Quran in the hands of Al Quida, the Bible in the hands of just as dangerous fundamentalists, and so on (the Tarot did come by its reputation with black magic honestly, although such applications were rare) was still an authority to the man. So I divined for Afflicted, card by card.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Yesterday was Earth Day, Virgo, and the world thanks you for turning off the water while you were brushing your teeth. But you shouldn’t just wait for one day to love the planet — this weekend, enjoy a drink that contains an organic ingredient. I suggest ordering a cosmopolitan that horoscopes contains Rain Organic Vodka. Delicious and good for the Earth!
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Sushi is a delicious food enjoyed by millions (maybe billions) around the world every day. I know that you’re really bad at assembling your own rolls at home, Aquarius, so satisfy your craving by enjoying professionally rolled sushi at Sushi Ariyoshi at 810 Broadway between 12th and 11th. I suggest the spicy crunchy tuna roll.
Pisces Horoscope. This is just about a perfect week for you to do some major repairs that have been ignored for way too long. Any actions you take now are bound to be the right ones even if you make other people nervous. However, you need to temper your actions this week so that you are neither too impulsive nor too cautious. By following the middle of the road path, you can solve just about any problem.
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